Hooligans R Us: May 2016

Dear Moms,

My children are picky eaters. Beyond picky.
So as moms we talk. We talk because we want to feel better. Here are some things to think about.
Mom: Well my child eats whatever is put on his plate, that is what's expected.
GOOD FOR YOU
Mom: My kids know I only make one meal and that's it. Eat it or go to bed without dinner.
GOOD FOR YOU
Mom: Since they were little I made sure they had a variety of foods.
GOOD FOR YOU
Mom: My kids love vegetables
GOOD FOR YOU
Mom: They won't go hungry, so they can eat what I make or wait until it's something they like.
GOOD FOR YOU

Here's the flip side to the mom that has tried. Tried to the point of tears (and I'm not talking about the kid)
Every time you make those statements she hears.....
You suck
Seriously, what is wrong with you
You're doing it wrong
Wow, your kids are so needy
Wow, you cater to your kids too much
And, yes those things have actually been said by other moms, out loud, to my face.

So, to all of you who think moms with "picky eaters' are to blame, maybe you should ask. Maybe you should be more sympathetic and less judgmental. (and by more sympathetic I don't mean pat me on the back. I mean hold your tongue because you don't have a clue)

I have done operation starvation (yes, I am sarcastic and I named it).
My kids could eat their "try bites" or go to bed. Mine chose to go to bed. With no dinner. For three days. One of them threw up tooth paste all over me in my bed because that's all he had for dinner. The older one, that is most concerning, who's BMI is N/A, lost weight.
So for all of you who say they won't starve. Some will. My pediatrician said don't ever do that again.

I have done the old grind it up and "hide" it in their food. They're not stupid. Plus, they are so picky I can't hide ground zucchini in a white noodle. Oh how I have tried.

My oldest gagged and threw up on his first cheerio. I was so excited to give it to him.
He gagged and threw up the stupid Gerber puffs.
He's actually has been throwing up since he was born.
He never ate. I begged, in my sleep deprived desperation, to get 24 ounces of formula in him in a 24 hour period. It was absolutely exhausting.

So when you say what great eaters you have raised. GOOD FOR YOU.

It is not for lack of my trying. You do what you have to do. I'll do what I have to do. Just please stop making comments.

You have no idea what it is like to make multiple dinners every night. You have no idea what it is like to ruin the family dinner conversation and gathering time because you are forcing your child to just TRY ONE BITE. Yes, sometimes I give in because I just want a peaceful family dinner. (like more than anything)

I actually love to cook. Always have. It is painful for me to have children who won't eat what I make. Seriously painful. I have cried at the dinner table with them, for my own reasons. I would give ANYTHING for my kids to say "I love my mom's lasagana" or " I love my mom's....ANYTHING"

My kids have freakish texture issues. So great for you that your kid will eat a slimy banana, broccoli that is crunchy yet soft, meat that is chewy, a soda that burns their mouth. Yay, your kid will eat strawberries. My kid actually tried to spit out strawberry seeds....what????? Who can even feel those in their mouth. Yep, mine. You never know what the parent of a picky eater is dealing with. And yes, I agree, just swallow the damn seed. But, there is no reasoning with a child that has a true freaky issue. Believe me, I've tried. "You gag and throw that up and I will make you try it again".....this is not the parent I want to be.

So the next time you come across a mom with a picky eater, hold your tongue. You have no idea what it feels like. It is gut wrenching. It is painful. We don't need your flippant comments. We feel bad enough as it is.

I have a 14 year old that is 5'3 and 73 pounds
I have an 11 year old that is 5'2 and 125 pounds
I have both ends of the spectrum.

This how tonight went. This is round three of quesadillas. (I keep trying the same foods over and over so we can get past texture) I ground up the chicken in food processor to try to make the texture more appealing.