A Hunting We Will Go

So today Davis and I went hunting. It was Davis' first time to ever go.
We got up at 3:30 a.m. to head to the ranch. Davis was so exited he could not stop talking.
d: sixty plus sixty is one twenty and that is two hours.
d: when I come back from the bathroom at school, I always tell Wesley I like his drawing. Even though he pulled my jersey off during P.E.
These any many other random pieces of information that I can't recall because it was FOUR in the morning and he never went back to sleep.

So, we make it into our deer blind.
I have a gun, not loaded, with bullets in my pocket. I do not intend on shooting anything, but since I am "hunting" I should have a rifle.

So the following is all the things that Davis said on his first hunt. Sometimes I had to turn my head to avoid him seeing me laughing.

We are all of 7 minutes into our morning hunt when he covers his eyes and in his cry voice says "I want to go back home" Now, in his defense the wind was howling, it was pitch black and, really, a little creepy. So I assured him we were just fine.
d: "can the wind blow this over(referring to the blind)?"
me: "no, we are fine"

An hour later...
d: "we should whistle and maybe they will come"
me: ummm I don't think so

me: Look Davis, a cow!
d: Can we shoot it?
me: no
d: Awwwe I really want to shoot something.

me: Oh I see a bird right there on that stump, do you see it?
d: yes, can we shoot it?
me: no
d: awwwe man.

We are done now. So we start walking around our little part of the ranch.
d: if a cow is mean to me, I'm gonna throw sticks at it.
me: {giving my that's not nice face}
d: what? If he is mean to me I am.
me: {silence}
me: Ya know those cows and all this land belong to Uncle Chris and his family.
d: what? Did they plant all this stuff (referring to the cactus, trees and shrubs)?
me: { i just shake my head with a face that probably says "really, you are asking this"}
d: Oh. No, that would be hard.

Now we are driving with grandpa and talking about how all we saw was a cow.
d: I think I know why the deer don't go to the feeders. They figured out that the "base" is where the people who shoot them are by the feeders.

Later at camp...
d: ouchie, ouchie, get it. It's a spikey ball. Get it off me. (referring to the sticker that is stuck to his sock.)

On to our evening hunt...
me: you stay down and I'll tell you if a deer comes. That way they don't see two heads in here.
d: But how am I going to shoot it? We didn't bring it (the gun) for nothing. We brought it to shoot.

me: shhhhh there is a buck at the feeder
d: can we shoot it?
me: no, we are not shooting.
d: ahhhhh, then what did you bring the gun for?
me: {silence}

We did see 7 or 8 does, a buck, a red fox and a turkey. Davis even sneezed (thank you for jinxing us Uncle Jay) and the doe kept eating.

Finally to conclude our evening hunt...
d: I just want to get out of this nasty place.
It was an old dusty, dirty, tree stand we were in at this point.

So, that was our first hunting experience with Davis. It is kind of the opposite of the Beverly Hillbillies taking Jethro to the city.

No Whammys

It is the first week of school. School starts an hour earlier than it did last year which is really no big deal because my kids are up at the crack of dawn. We have had flag football practice, baseball practice and play dates. So, the boys are whipped. Derek has one friend in his class. ONE. They didn't go to recess the first two days because it was too hot. So, he was sad he did not get to see his friends. Today he had anxiety because some kid cut his finger and it was bleeding. When he got out of line to ask for a band aid his teacher told him now is not the time, get back in line. I asked him if it was really bleeding or if it was like a paper cut because we all know that if a kid has a minor scratch it requires a band aid. I totally understand that as a teacher this could be really annoying. It was the first thing Derek talked about today after school so I know it made him worry.
On Sunday night he got hit in the knee by a baseball. He was catcher and the pads moved off his knee when he reached out to try to catch the ball. On Tuesday he slammed his finger in the door and has a huge blood blister. I am rambling, but all of this leads up to my anxiety child today.
I tuck the two hooligans in bed and allow them to read until 7:18 because it is already 7:03 (they want their 15 minutes). At 7:18 I tell them to turn out the light, put up the books and go to sleep.
I should have seen the Whammy coming. It has been a long week.
At approximately 7:35 a sobbing Derek comes to my room.
Me: What is wrong?
D: I can't stop thinking about what happens after you die.
Me: What do you mean? What do you think happens after you die?
D: I don't know, you can't see anything, do you know you are dead? (we have had this conversation before)
Me: Oh buddy you know you are dead and you can see. It's a party in Heaven
D: But you don't have your body, how can you see?
Me: Your soul doesn't need a body to see or have a party! (I trying to wing it here people)
D: [pondering this concept still crying]
Me: Great Grandma Wallace is totally partying right now. She wasn't afraid to die, she was ready to go. she was almost a hundred years old and now she is up there with her parents and her husband and her daughter. She is totally happy. I told him we could read about Heaven in the Bible.
D: [thinking about it still while wiping tears] How do you know? It's not like those people could die and then drop the pages for the Bible down to earth from Heaven.
Me: [thinking, well sh!t. What do I say now?] Ummmmmm, well you know Jesus died and came back. That's what Easter is all about. So, he knows and he told every one.

That seemed to do for now.

So I tucked him back in with a book to read to help him stop thinking about dieing.

I have little kid who is certain he has been here before and he is only afraid that the earth won't be here when he comes back in his next life. I have a big kid who is afraid he won't be able to see in Heaven and won't know he is dead.

Somebody help me.

My Car

Driving in the car today:
Davis : Mom when you die can I have your car. (I have a Honda Pilot, not anything worth handing down)
Me: [Laughter]
Davis: Why are you laughing?
Me: Oh Davis. I probably won't have this car anymore when I die.
Davis : Why, because you are going to crash it.
Me: [long pause] Ummm No, I sure hope not.

The Blind Side

So, I know people think I am a little crazy because I am so careful about what movies I let Derek watch. Derek has been wanting to see The Blind Side for months. All his friends have seen it. Everyone has told me it is okay for Derek to see. Clint and I finally got to see it last night. We decided that Derek and Davis could watch it tonight.
Here is why I am so concerned with what Derek watches:
1) The eviction notice on the door. He asked what evicted meant. I told him. He held back tears and told me that made him sad that he did not know where his mom was.
2) When the dude told him his dad jumped off a bridge. Derek = Sad.
3) When the teacher told him that there were body parts under the Tennessee football field. Derek said that might give him nightmares.
He hasn't seen the end yet. They had to go to sleep, but he went to sleep with tears and feeling so sorry for Big Mike or Michael. It made him so sad that it really happened.
Derek kept asking if it was a real story. I told him it was except for the body parts under the field. I had to explain to him that she made that part up because she wanted him to go to Ole Miss.
The kid can't just watch a movie. He has to think about every single part of it. This is why he doesn't get to watch a lot of movies. I am not a crazy overbearing mother, my kid can't just let stuff go.
Katrina news almost sent him over the edge and My Dog Skip had him crying and asking questions for 30 minutes after the movie was over. Nothing is in one ear out the other with him.

Davis on the other hand watched the movie and the only question he had was "I'm thirsty, can I get some water?"